More to Kel
by Kaia Papaya
Summary: There may be more to Kel that is apparent to everyone at first glance. She is, after all, also a girl. This started as a one-shot, and it ended up growing it's own chapters. Let me know your opinions. Slight Kel/Neal, but I'm not sure where it's going.
1. Feminine

Nealan of Queenscove, Owen of Jeeslaw, Seaver of Tasride, Cleon of Kennan, Merric of Hollyrose, Faleron of King's Reach, and Balduin of Dissart were all grouped together as they were relaxing at one of the balls. Their band of friends was attracting no little notice from various interested parties around the hall. As future knights of the realm, they were under much speculation from scheming mothers and daughters who were looking for marriages. They had no real notice of this, excepting Neal of course, and continued as usual, making small talk. Neal had joined the Pages much later than all the rest, and in his five years at the University had been quite the court gossip and sweetheart. It gave him a slightly different perspective on court life.

He was also the only one who noticed that his younger sister's companions were not behaving as they usually did at balls. Normally they stuck together and chatted between themselves. They were a close-knit group due to the training they went through. Generally one or two would be dancing, but quickly return afterwards. Today however they all seemed to be present and engaged in a very intriguing discussion. Immediately forgetting that thought, he idly wondered where Kel was.

Interrupting in Neal's speculation was a voice asking,

"Who would you choose?" Neal started, and glanced around for the speaker. It turned out to be Merric asking the group of friends they were presently with. The royal ballroom was packed with people, as they were lazing about in Corus. Much to the squire's happiness, the Grand Progress had stopped there so the fourth year squires could go through the Ordeal. All of the younger squires had just been released from serving duty, and were allowed briefly to mingle with the guests.

"Why whatever do you mean, my lovely Squire Merric," Neal quipped, being intentionally dense.

"The ladies you dolt!," He exclaimed, "Who of all the ladies here would you pick?" As if this was a new revelation, the group curiously began to look around.

"I don't rightly know," mused Seaver as he began to covertly peer around the room. "We're barely given enough of a respite to even _wash_ ourselves, let alone keep up with the court gossip." As he was glancing around the room, he spotted their comrade Roald in a bit of a pickle.

Roald was over with the royal family, safe from scheming eyes and next to his bride to be, Princess Shinkokami. They were being unfailingly polite and making stilted conversation. He could tell from across the ballroom that they were both rather uncomfortable, but didn't know what he could do about it.

"I don't know who I would pick," Seaver began slowly, "but it does appear that Roald needs some help with his bride to be."

"And what a bride to be she is," Owen exclaimed, "Have you ever seen the Yamani ladies and the Queen at morning glaive sessions? It's jolly, that's what it is. I swear I'm never setting one foot wrong with any of the royalty _ever_. Especially the Queen. But oh isn't she glorious? "

Snorting a little, Neal responded, "I'd much rather set a foot wrong with them than with Kel."

"Agreed," two voices said in unison, from behind him. Neal turned around in surprise, and Faleron and Merric were both nodding vigorously, before Merric continued, "None of them could be as scary as Kel when she thinks you've done something you shouldn't have." Neal glanced around the group, and saw all of them nodding in agreement.

"She's scary when she's angry," put in Faleron.

"I don't know if any of us have ever seen her really angry yet," Neal pointed out, "But those jousting sessions with Lord Raoul my cousin told me about would just make her slightly more frightening. I mean... she already was the best of us at jousting, and he's possibly the best in tortall."

"She's willing to joust with The Giantkiller?" Balduin asked in awe.

"Oh yes. I simply think it means she's touched in the head," Neal quipped. And chuckling, the lads when back to their inspection of all the pretty ladies at the ball.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Earlier in the night, Lady Yukimi noh Daiomoru had pulled Kel from the boys as soon as they had finished serving, and politely requested her help with the Princess. Kel, of course, knew no other option than to help. The nightly discussions in the library were informally begun, and it soon gathered quite a crowd. Shortly after the discussions had finished, Kel was approached by a tall figure that she hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Iness!" Kel exclaimed happily, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "It's good to see you well. How is the border?" Laughing, he extracted himself from her arms and said,

"Quite well." And after looking at her for a few seconds shook his head. "Mithros, Kel, you've grown so much. You may be taller than Conal by now. Are you well?"

After a minute or so of small talk, Iness seemed to remember something, and said "Why don't you come over to meet my friends? I assure you they won't have a problem with you being a girl." and to himself, he muttered, "Or we would be having problems," probably not expecting Kel to hear that. It comforted her quite a lot that he actively defended her honor. She also took a bit of vicious pride in the fact that she would be bigger than Conal. After a very short time, Kel found herself heavily in conversation with Iness and a few of his friends. They were all about Iness' age, and (to the general public) green knights.

Iness began by introducing her to his year mates, Evard of Knightsbridge, Dolan of Hollyrose, and Gydeon of Port Caynn. After talking about Merric with his brother, she talked with the four about jousting, Raoul, and then politics. After about half an hour of quite interesting conversation, Iness was distracted by his current lady, and his friends began to wander off. Their small group began to disperse, and Kel was immediately approached by none other than lady Uline of Hannaloff, who was looking splendid as usual.

"My lady!" Kel exclaimed in surprise, "It's good to see you well."

"And you as well. How is your Knight master?" she enquired politely.

"He's much kinder than I could ever have hoped for," Kel responded happily. "How is your engagement to Kierin haMinch?"

"Quite wonderful. I was very lucky to be matched for love, rather than power." After a pause, she continued hesitantly with, "There was something I particularly wished to speak to you about. I'm a member of the Queen's Ladies, and there are a few of my sister's in waiting who very much would like to meet you. You've left them very impressed." Kel quickly consented to this particular favor, after offering her congratulations to Lady Uline for being asked into a part of such an elite group.

All too soon, Kel found herself in discussion with around ten of the most interesting court ladies. Although some of the ladies were very young, the youngest of them was 17. Though this was daunting at first, the three years soon disappeared and Kel was eagerly interrogated and then incorporated into their group. She was surprised to learn that one of the ladies was Maggary of Cavall, Lord Wyldon's second eldest child, and another was Dania of Queenscove, Neal's younger sister. Names and faces began to spin past her, but she quickly got her bearings, and earnestly began to talk to the ladies.

Their discussions ranged from politics to men, and all were looking at Kel very curiously. Finally, one of them voiced a question that had been in all of their minds,

"How do you like living surrounded by only men?" Kel, though not surprised by this question, took a while to answer.

"Well, it's a very rough and tumble life, but all of my friends are very sweet. The one thing I really miss is being looked at like a girl. Sometimes I wear a dress to remind them, but I never really bother with my appearance. I'm actually looking quite squire-like right now. I'm lucky I even got to wear a dress tonight. Milord had a tunic and hoes ready. Thankfully Lalasa had a dress in Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak colors." All the ladies giggled at that last one, and after a few inquiries about Lalasa and where she might be found (because the dress was an excellent one), Kel found herself surrounded completely. It seemed the ladies had passed a little silent fan talk, and Dania finally spoke,

"Kel, would you like a little assistance? We are offering a trade of services. If you assist us with glaive work so we are able to eventually join their Majesties in the mornings, we can spend time with you for any female companionship you may be lacking. Lady Yukimi was telling us how all Yamani noblewomen were able to wield the glaive, and it seems like a sensible weapon. Plus, we find you interesting. What do you say?" Kel, rather shocked by their offer, stammered for a minute, and then really thought about it. With a wide grin breaking across her face, she said,

"Of course. I would love to do that. I'm traveling with the progress for the future because the King is rather angry with my Lord at the moment and keeping him close. I'll be free for quite a while. I'm not sure I should be looked at as a court lady while I'm doing squire duties, but now and then it can't be bad." and then continuing with the unexpected, Dania asked one more question,

"Kel, would you like us to make you slightly more girly? I know you must enjoy dressing up at least a little if you miss being around other girls." Shyly, Kel nodded a little bit and began to grin when the ladies produced all manner of unexpected items from unexpected places. Two minutes later, Kel got directions to the set of Queen's Ladies rooms very near to the royal suite, Kel agreed that she would come visit with them after her glaive work in the morning. She also promised that everything they had lent her would be returned in pristine condition the next day.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Unbeknownst to the squires, across the hall a very similar discussion to theirs was just starting to take place. Maggary was the first one to notice the squires who were looking around the hall, but she soon brought it to the attention of all the ladies present. Giggling, she asked slyly,

"So, all you lovely unattached ladies, which man here would you willingly chose to dance with first?" Her question was greeted with more giggles, but it was also taken rather seriously. Dania shrugged and said,

"I don't really know. My brothers have tried to keep me as sheltered as they possibly could, but I think that is coming to and end. Neal is the only one here, and I'm sure I could persuade Kel to distract him for a while." and then grinning, she added on, "That tall, dark haired one next to Neal, Kel, what is his name?" also smiling, Kel said,

"Well, stop looking over there, because they're looking around too, but I believe you're talking about Balduin of Dissart. He should be turning 18 within the year." Dania sighed, thinking, _oh, he's just my age. How charming._ The giggling group of ladies soon realized that Kel was an excellent source of information about men in the armed forces, and came to her with many questions. Still grinning, Kel gave them some of the best gossip and embarrassing moments of some of her friends and the men in Third Company.

She idly thought _I wonder if this is what my life would have been like if I had decided not to try for Knighthood._

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Owen, after looking around at the ladies for a while, poked the body next to him to tell of his decision. Neal grunted in consternation, and snapped "What?"

"I'd probably pick one of those ladies over there, the Queen's Ladies. Plus, I thought I saw Kel in there with them."

"Wait. KEL? Our Kel?" Neal exclaimed, "With the Queen's Ladies? What do they want with her?"

"Well," Owen began, "It appears that she's made some friends and is quite the conversationalist. She blends right in. I only picked her out because of the Goldenlake colors."

"Huh," Neal said, rather stumped. He had never really noticed Kel acting particularly girly, but then again she was a girl. And he knew she did have friends that were girls, as evidenced by the Yamani ladies. And she seemed to be getting on quite well with his sister it appeared. And lady Uline. Repressing a sigh, he just turned to Owen and said,

'Who would have thought." And then much to their surprise, Kel was asked to dance by a young nobleman. It seemed that they weren't the only ones who had noticed the Ladies. Kel gracefully accepted, and much to Neal and Owen's shock, she accepted.

Quite gracefully, the two began to perform an elegant foxtrot. Gathering his resolve, Neal waited for the dance to end before approaching Kel himself.

"Milday, would you honor me with the next dance?"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Neal!" Kel nearly shouted as she whirled around, startled, "I wasn't expecting to see you there."

"I wasn't expecting to see you dancing." he returned quickly.

"I quite enjoy dancing. Just not when I need to learn the men's part." Neal snorted at that last part, and remembered that Kel had held their etiquette instructor, Master Oakbridge, in particular contempt. He now knew one more reason why.

"I thought you just didn't like him because he was so stuffy. Where did you learn to dance? You were rather abysmal at it I recall."

"Nealan, what you know about my dancing skills is quite unrelated to how well I can actually dance. As a page, I'm essentially a boy, and I know the boys steps because I learned them with you. In the Islands, I learned how to properly dance as a girl. It was one of my lessons after the glaive because Nariko decidemmph-." Kel began, and finished by incoherent mumbling at the end, when she realized what she was about to admit to.

"I'm sorry, Kel, could you repeat that last sentence?" Neal asked with a glint, to her chagrin, "I think you were mumbling."

"Terribly sorry, Meathead."

"Hey! But please, continue."

"I said she decided I neededalittlemoregrace." she replied incredibly softly.

"One more time, my dear, " Neal said with a full-blown grin.

"I said she decided I needed a little more grace. Are you happy now?" Kel was seething.

"Quite, but what do you say to that dance?" Rather shocked that he saw her as enough of a girl to ask to dance, she just grinned and agreed as foxtrot music came on.

Across the floor, all of the squires saw who Neal was dancing with. In a bit of a daze, Seaver muttered, "I didn't realize Kel knew how to dance like that." Owen just grinned and replied, "I don't think any of us did."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After the foxtrot finished, Kel and Neal made their way over to the Queen's Ladies. All of them grinned at Kel, and asked her questions about her dances while Neal talked to his sister for a little bit. After a couple minutes, when all parties had a satisfied curiosity, Neal prodded Kel in the back.

"I'm going back over to the squires, as I would rather not be pounced on as soon as this ball is finished. Would you care to accompany me? I know for a fact that they're going to have questions for you."

"Sure Neal, you go ahead. I'll be there in a minute." As Neal wandered off, he heard them talking, and a promise to meet the next day. To himself, he wondered if any of them knew all the different sides of Kel. She had turned out to be a most excellent dancing partner though. He would definitely have to ask her again.


	2. Restless and Frustrated

A/N: When I started this adventure, I didn't really have a story in mind. I just thought it was a little strange how almost all of the fanfics portraying Kel have her as someone who detests dresses. I remember her quite willingly wearing them as a page, if only to remind the rest of the boys more forcefully that yes, she was a girl. I'm not sure how many people picked up on it, but just because someone doesn't do something all the time doesn't mean they don't like it. I may continue this as a single contiguous plot, but I think each of the chapters is going to bring some trait about kel that I (personally) think is there, and that most of her squire friends don't realize. The first was _femininity_. In this one, I'm going for _restlessness _or_ frustration_. Thank you for all your lovely comments. I'm not sure this fic is going to be K/N, but there will probably be K/[someone] eventually. I'm rather afraid this chapter ran away with me, but I like where it went. -Kaia

* * *

Whenever Kel's thoughts would get too much for her, she became incredibly restless. Therefore, after the past few weeks of being occupied mainly by balls and dancing, her mind was divided and her body completely unsettled. She was beginning to understand Raoul more and more as the progress continued. Doing a duty to the crown called for complete attention, and it left very little time for other distractions to set in, '_Like my friends being idiots,_' she mentally growled. Not thinking was looking more and more appealing by the second, as opposed to simply attending more balls and parties.

Much to Kel's chagrin, after her first couple nights of companionship with the Queen's Ladies, her year-mates refused to see her as anything other than a Lady; a court lady who knew only how to flirt and dance well. Kel did manage to put and end to the girly treatment by trouncing all of them on the practice courts, but they didn't forget anytime soon that she was a girl. Kel no longer fell into the simple category of 'year-mate', but rather someone who was a potential love interest, and who was completely unexpected. All of them who were attending the progress had shifted their attitudes toward her. As time moved on, they gradually returned to joking and gossiping in her presence, but it was more than a few weeks coming.

Unfortunately for Keladry, Neal had seen fit to mention to his cousin that Kel knew how to dance, and that she _also_ happened to know most of the Queen's Ladies quite well. Telling Dom that was like telling him that Kel had gotten a shiny new toy (or perhaps Kel herself was the new toy). Once the men in Third Company realized what Dom was bothering Kel about, he wasn't her only headache. Neal had paid for that slip of the tongue dearly on the courts when Kel found out exactly what he had told Dom.

Kel's ever shortening temper boiled over after she had been talking to Learant on the practice courts. He had asked her if she would tell one of the Queen's Ladies who he was and pass on a flower for him. She had simply growled at him in frustration and shouted,

"I am a warrior who just happens to be a girl, and don't forget it. I will _not_ put in a good word for you to the ladies. I will _not_ be the messenger in your little courtly displays of affection, and I _do not_ want to hear about any intimate details concerning my friends. You and all the rest of you," Kel yelled, poking Learant in the chest and then gesturing around her, at all the men who had poked their head out and were looking for the commotion, "had better remember it unless you'd like to spar." With one final shove, Kel stormed off towards the stables, growling "I'm going to massacre you Nealan. It will be the end of the Queenscove line. There will be no small meatheads around. Duke Baird may be upset with me, but it will finally give me peace of mind. There will be brimstone..." and with that she was out of earshot. The men nervously glanced at one another, never having seen that from Kel before.

Two hours later, Kel found herself wandering around the markets of Corus, calming down from her earlier rage. She had gone from the courts to the stables thinking about taking Peachblossom or Hoshi out for a ride. However, once she made it to the stables, she had run into some more of the Kings Own, and had promptly turned on her heel and left the barracks. Wandering around the grounds on foot hadn't seemed like a good idea, so she went to the only place where she was sure she wouldn't run into any high concentration of soldiers from third company: The Corus Markets in the city.

Kel sighed as she wandered from stall to stall, and thought about how she would apologize for her unseemly behavior earlier. Learant hadn't deserved the brunt of her anger. Kel was astounded that she had lost face in such a manner. Nothing had pierced the Yamani calm that she held in a long even during all of her tormenting during the Page years had she reacted to badly. She supposed it was because these men were her friends and comrades, and she had expected better of them.

Drifting off in the clouds, she felt the slightest tug at one of her pockets. Snapping her hand down to her purse, she encountered a small, thin wrist. She grabbed it in a vise-like grip and turned to face the owner. A grubby little girl who couldn't be more than eight or nine glared back at her as she attempted to free her wrist from Kel's grasp.

Great. Lovely. Marvelous. Just what she didn't need now. A pickpocket. Kel bared her teeth in a silent snarl that made the girl flinch away from. Could this day get any worse? As the unknown girl's struggling increased, Kel locked her wrist up with one of the more complicated Yamani moves she had attempted to teach Lalasa. The girl, with her wrist now in imminent danger, held perfectly still and simply contented herself with glaring at Kel.

"Your name?" Kel demanded, not in the mood to be nice.

"Leifa," the girl spat, and struggled to be free once more. Kel gave the wrist a warning shake and the girl once again held still.

"Your home?"

"The pits," she nearly snarled. "What are you going to do about it, moneybags?" Grimacing, Kel thought for a moment, and began to stride purposefully around the marketplace with the girl in tow. It was packed with life, and she squinted against the cold winter sun until she encountered the uniform of a provost's guard. Walking up to him, Kel began

"Good sir, where might I find your nearest guardhouse? I have a young lady here in need of _assistance_." She simply received a glance in return.

"Down Canal street, and to your left on Hare's way," He replied in a bored voice, pointing off to the left. He obviously did not want to deal with the problem that Kel potentially posed to his simple duties of the day.

"My thanks," Kel replied. As she began to haul the girl after her, Kel noticed the struggling became more and more pronounced. The girl was looking fearfully at Kel now, and Kel was beginning to feel a little bad about turning her in. She was obviously dirty, and probably hungry as well. Looking more closely now, Kel also noticed that even though it was nearing Midwinter, her slippers and clothes were not in any shape to be outside, let alone protection from Midwinter chills.

Struck by her conscience and changing her immediate plans, Kel turned instead and dragged the girl to the nearest bathhouse. After leaving instructions with the mistress of the house that the girl was to wash and not leave until she came back, Kel tipped the busy matron generously and made her way back to the market. She purchased a sturdy pair of boots and a warmer set of clothes she thought would roughly fit the girl. Kel was soon back at the house where her surly new companion was just leaving the baths in a towel.

"Dress." Kel said shortly, dumping the package at her feet. The girl, Leifa, was now looking more than confused, and simply stared at the clothes.

"I'm not kidnapping you. I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm considering not turning you in as a pickpocket. Just dress and don't question or I may change my mind." Bewildered, but not unhappily, the girl put on the clothes cautiously. Kel was glad that the girl had stopped struggling, hopefully realizing that whatever Kel wanted would happen.

"Why?" was the only word that she uttered.

"You remind me of someone I knew," Kel muttered, not entirely sure herself why she was helping the girl. "It seemed like you needed it more than I did." Not daring to question her newfound good luck, Leifa just nodded and said no more.

Just saying, "Keep up if you want food," Kel strode back into the marketplace to a kabob stand with lovely aromas coming from the grill. Looking behind her, Kel saw that the girl was indeed following her, and didn't look quite so miserable as before. Now that she was clean, Kel could tell the girl was tanned with dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes. She could have been from anywhere. Sighing, Kel looked for a while at her small captive-turned-follower. The girl just stared back. She was no longer completely hostile, but there was no friendliness in that gaze. Perhaps there was a little curiosity, but Kel wouldn't bet on it.

Thinking out loud, Kel muttered "What am I going to do with you now?" Turning to face the vendor, Kel bought three Kabobs and an apple that looked mostly unbruised for a few silver crescents. Handing the apple behind her, the girl ravenously dug in while still eyeing the kabobs. Kel slowly began to eat one of the sticks of meat, and once the girl had finished the apple Kel passed across one of the kabobs. The girl was beginning to slow her eating, but the meat had her hooked and she finished long before Kel. While looking at the girls hands, something caught her eye, and she snatched Leifa's right wrist out of the air.

Much to Kel's chagrin, she noticed the two tattooed **X** marks that marked this girl doubly as a previous thief. Sighing, she met Leifa's eyes and looked steadily at her until Leifa looked away blushing.

"I don't have any other way to eat," the girl said quietly. "My Da left, and Ma can barely feed herself and the baby, let alone me and Shem. What else was I supposed to do?" Once again wondering why she was spending time and money on this girl, Kel simply headed back toward the Market. Turning to look at Leifa, she simply said,

"Think of me as your fairy godmother. This is your one chance to do something with your life rather than go to the docks or the mines." She then turned and resumed dragging the girl behind her. After about ten more minutes of walking with Leifa in tow, she stepped into Lalasa's shop.

As soon as she was in the door, Kel heard, "Oh, milady, how are you? Oh look at your seams. You're still so hard on your clothes. At least you're spending a little time with some women, instead of just those loud men of yours. Even if your men are nicer than the rest, it's still a good thing." And after her initial outburst, she noticed the girl standing behind Kel. "And who do you have here?"

"Lalasa, I'd like you to meet Leifa. Leifa, this is Lalasa Isran. Lalasa used to be my maid, but now that she has her own shop here, I thought you may be of use to her." As Lalasa opened her mouth to protest, Kel interjected with, "Please hear me out." When Lalasa nodded, Kel continued,

"I found this _lovely_ little lady on the streets, and her situation probably couldn't be much worse. I know you're getting much busier here with all of the balls going on, and the Queen asking about your stitching. She can be a footrunner or an errand person. It would help you out so much. And it would be somewhere warm to go for her if it got too bad outside." Leifa was just staring at Kel now, rather openmouthed. "You want me to work here?" she asked in disbelief? "Why?"

"Well, you could use the money, and Lalasa could certainly use the help." turning to Lalasa, she asked, "Will she do?" After staring at the girl for a while, Lalasa only asked, "are you willing to run errands for pay?"

"How much?" After a moment's thought, Lalasa came back with,

"Five copper crescents every errand, maybe maybe more or less, depending of the difficulty."

"Deal. Should I come back tomorrow?"

As negotiations between the two continued, Kel waved a goodbye to Lalasa with a promise to return later that evening and strolled out the door. Her afternoon adventure had taken no more than an hour, and she was still feeling incredibly restless. Not wanting to go back up to the palace, lest she be set upon by her friends, Kel resumed her wandering in the downtown market.

After about half an hour of browsing the market stalls, a stroke of inspiration hit. Looking around for Canal street, Kel made her way to the guard house that she had opted not to give Leifa over to. There were men practicing in the three courts behind the house, but one bout caught her eye particularly. There was a ring of children and guards crowded around two fighters. Curious, Kel approached and saw what appeared to be a duel or a spar between two rugged looking guardsmen. After observing what was quite a good match for five minutes, Kel determined that she was probably as good as them with the sword, and started to walk away. However, before she had gone 2 steps from the fence, a voice called back to her,

"What's a young lass like ye'self doin' down here? You're too old to be fascinated by the bouts anymore."

"I was just watching the spar. They're quite good," Kel replied, as she turned around.

"And whadda' _you_ know about swordfightin', lassie?" The man who spoke was a grizzled old man in a guards uniform. He had a worn, rugged look about him, and was staring at her in a way that was less than comfortable.

"Quite a bit, actually. My brothers are good with swords, and I've picked up some tricks here and there." Kel told herself that this wasn't technically a lie, and grinned as the man glared at her and replied,

"You any good with one of 'em?" She just laughed and said,

"I'm not too shabby, if I do say so myself." Pointing over to the two men, she said, "I'm not sure I could _beat_ one of them, but I could sure give the loser a run for their money." The old man was laughing a bit now as he said, "Lass, those are two of the best we have here at the house. How bout you try me, and we see how you do."

"My name is Kel," she said to introduced herself.

"Doran," he said, and offered her hand. They shook, and then Kel grinned.

"Let's do this then," she said, and took the man up on his offer. He led her to the sheds where the equipment was stored, and waited for her to choose her weapon.

Spread about the room were live weapons, bokken, and wooden practice blades. Kel carefully inspected what her options were, and finally settled on one of the heavier wooden swords. Grinning, the man followed her lead, and they went back outside to wait for a court to open up. After about 5 minutes of stretching and chatting with Doran about swords and guards in general, Kel was ready to see how she could do. He was beginning to guess from the way she talked that she actually knew how to handle a weapon, and was rather curious to see what would happen. After stripping off her coat and wincing at the cold, Kel walked into the center of the ring.

The bout started out slowly, each fighter testing the other. The old man wasn't the most spry opponent, but his sword moved quickly and precisely. He wouldn't be winning this bout on stamina, but he might win it on speed and dexterity. As a minute passed, they started speeding up, looking for weaknesses in the other's guard. Kel began to press the attack a little more, and his eyes narrowed in concentration. He blocked her with a reverse six sweep, and pressed his own attack. Nearly caught off guard, Kel's grip slackened momentarily, but she danced out of the way just in time to avoid losing her sword.

By this time, the bout two courts down was finished, and the crowd was dispersing, filtering out to watch the other matches taking place through the yard. Slowly, the ring around Kel and Doran grew, and she heard some heckling from the crowds. Catcalls to both of the fighters were slowly increasing in volume and frequency.

"Ay Doran, you going to let yourself get bested by that slip of a girl," and "You show him Lass" were only the beginnings of what was shouted at them.

Doran himself only grinned at Kel and said, "You really weren't boasting, were you?"

"No, sir," And pressed on the attack. After another two minutes, Kel once again left a tiny opening in her defense, and found the wooden handle yanked from her grasp with a neat disarm. When the tip of Doran's sword found her collarbone, she said softly, "I yield," and then looked up startled at the cheering crowd. Clapping her on the shoulder, Doran steered Kel into the shade of the guardhouse, and someone passed her a water skin.

"Well fought, lassie," he said, "I wasn't expecting that at all. You gave me a run for my money." Kel grinned bashfully, and the two continued to talk about swords and swordplay. It turned out that Doran was the desk commander of the district watch, and had quite the swordsmanship background here on the watch. Eventually a few younger guards worked up the nerve to come and ask a few questions. Kel eventually found herself in a rather heated discussion about a few of the new laws the Queen was trying to pass with schools and orphanages open to all who want or need them. Eventually the discussion moved inside due to the chill, and Kel went to fetch her coat.

Once inside, Kel realized that time had flown swiftly by, and she needed to return to Lalasa's shop and make it back to the palace by supper. Making her excuses to Doran and the other guards, Kel was about to leave when a voice behind her said,

"You're welcome to come spar with us whenever you like Lassie. I'm not too sure where you've been practicing, but I think it would do my boys some good to have you beat their pride down a bit." Kel just grinned and said in reply,

"I'm not sure when I'll have the time, but I'll make a stop by here the next time I'm in the neighborhood."

As she made her way back to the palace after talking to Lalasa about a few future ball gowns, Kel finally realized that this was the first time in weeks that she was really happy about something. Maybe the commoners have the right idea about life. If you can do something, then you can do it. None of this frippery and court lady nonsense. She really did want to get to know Doran better. He seemed like an interesting fellow.

Back at the palace, not too much worse for wear, Kel sighed and headed towards the King's Own mess hall for supper. She really should apologize to Learant for shouting him down that afternoon. 'Well,' she told herself grimly, 'you had a good afternoon, but it's time to face the music.'

Much to her relief, it turned out that Learant also wanted to apologize for pushing her to the bursting point. Word of her outburst had spread pretty rapidly though, and the men were generally tiptoeing around her and apologizing. After about 10 minutes of tense conversation with Qasim and his squad, things were finally getting back to normal, and Kel breathed a sigh of relief. The same time the next week, she resolved, she would go visit Doran and fine tune her sword work with him.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked it, and if you have any comments or thought, just leave me a review ~ Kaia


	3. Rain

A/N: Hi all, sorry it's been a while. I was struck with a minor version of writers block and finals for college. I will (hopefully) be updating more frequently now that I don't have any classes to worry about. This is pretty thrown together, and it came to me in the torrential downpour that hit my house last night at about 2am. The only thing that belongs to me from this is my little plot bunny.

I feel like I may be neglecting many of the plot points in the original squire, but this is more about what other people discover about Kel, rather than what a lot of people already know about her from the books. I'll probably focus less on her duties as a squire than I should, but I _will_ mention them. I'm trying to stay close to what Kel and everyone else's personalities would be, but not the original story line of the books. ~

* * *

Kel liked the rain.

It was soothing to her. Calming. Cleansing. Whenever she had a chance, she would listen to the rain. If it was cold out, she would look for the University greenhouses, or the stable lofts of the palace. If it was summer, she would seek shelter in the forest, or in her rooms with the window open.

Sometimes, though, she wouldn't seek shelter at all. If it was warm out, she might decide to take to the pastures, or the stables, or simply lay on top of the curtain wall and feel the rain falling. Common lore said the rains came down when the Great Mother was weeping, but she thought differently. Personally, Kel believed that rain was a cleansing gift from the the Mother. It was a chance to forget, forgive, and grow. For nature to blossom it needed a blessing of rain. For a slate to be washed clean, it needed rain.

Unknown to Kel though, all of her friends were under the impression that Kel hated the rain, or was afraid of storms. It wasn't a ridiculous assumption. She would always disappear during the storms and reappear much later after they were finished without saying a word. Popular among her Page friends was the suggestion that she went somewhere concealed and noisy like the loom-houses or indoor practice courts. They had all left off mentioning it because it was something Kel herself never brought up.

During their rides as pages, whenever it would rain, the Yamani mask would come up. They thought it was to hide her dislike of the conditions, but she really just didn't want to be singled out for being the only happy one in the middle of a storm. She had learned that lesson early on in the Isles. Nobody else liked the rain, and if you were happy when they were miserable, they would attempt to make you just as unhappy as they were. Yuki had hated being out in the rain as a child, Kel remembered fondly.

When not on duty though, Kel had a tendency to forget where she was when it started to rain. If the fancy struck, she would go to the nearest bit of open air, and just let it fall on her. Raoul had though she was a madwoman when she had switched someone _for_ sentry duty in the rain when the King's Own was out helping the mudslide victims. When he asked her about it, she simply smiled at him.

"It's really not bad, milord."

"If you're a glutton for punishment, I'm not going to stop you from sitting miserably in the rain if you want to."

"No sir, thank you sir. If I can't do carpentry, which is all that is left now, I have to do something other than weapons practice, milord. I need to run now, my shift starts in ten minutes."

"Please don't drown squire, I'd hate to have to train up another one so soon," he called at her retreating back.

"Yes, milord," She called over her shoulder. Raoul wandered over to the nearest group of men to see what they were working on. As he inspected their carpentry work, he commented to Dom,

"That girl is plan starkers. Do you know that she actually volunteered for sentry duty out in this rain?"

"Kel? I though she didn't like the rain."

"Where on earth did you hear that? She looked positively gleeful. Well... gleeful for Kel at least. I tell you. Crazy."

"Neal mentioned it in a few of his letters."

"How on earth did he come to that conclusion?"

"I'm not sure milord, but I think it may have to do with Duke Baird dropping him on his head as a child, and the healing addling his brains." Raoul just laughed as he moved on to look at other's work.

* * *

Today as Kel was on her way down into the lower city, she could tell that there was a torrential downpour on the way to Corus. It was visible in the western sky as a massive thunderhead with rain obscuring the view of everything beyond. She could see the occasional distant lightning strike, and hear the mutterings of all those around her who were not looking forward to when that finally reached Corus. It was inching ever closer, and a storm in Corus seemed inevitable.

The lower city was disgusting the day after a hard rain. All of the normally dusty streets transformed into pure mud, and a wet, rotting odor pervaded the streets the next day. Trash gathered in the water washing through the gutters and sewers. It was like taking a walking tour through the coat of a dog who rolled in last week's lunch. Needless to say, not many of the city folks were happy about the potential drenching, though they were all quite used to it. Spring was a rainy season.

It was the middle of April by now, and Kel was out in the yards behind the Guardhouse once again. Through the winter she had continued to come to the guards when she was in Corus. There, she would look for occasional sparring and the general escape from her mad life. Starting about 3 weeks after she started coming down, Kel had begged and begged to learn the heavy baton.

They kept saying no, until about a month ago Doran, the house captain, finally relented and let her join the recruiting class in their baton lessons. He would grumble and call it a 'future investment,' though Kel had assured him she wouldn't join the guards when she was old enough.

Doran had asked if she would join when Kel first inquired about the lessons. Then he had taken to bothering her about it. Kel just laughed and always answered, "No sir, I don't think its a good option for me right now."

The first time she told him that, he had cocked his head in the manner of a curious bird. Kel just gave a wry smile and said, "Well, I've gotten my family into enough trouble with my learning to fight in the first place. My latest 'scandal' hasn't yet left the lips of my still aggrieved Great-Aunt Marea, and I would rather prefer not to anger her any more. She rules the clan with an iron fist, and can make my life plenty miserable. I may yet go for the riders, but I believe the "Guarding-Common-Street-Folk-From-Those-Who-Pick-Pockets-And-Start-Brawls" title would simply lead to my humiliation, disownment, and subsequent hazing from everyone I call family. My learning to fight is enough." Kel added a muttered "for now," but she wasn't sure Doran picked up on it.

He just grinned at her, and replied, "When you agree to join the guard as you come of age, I will teach you how to use our signature baton. Until then, you are just going to have to find something to change my mind. Can't have a new rogue out there with baton skills." He grinned as he said it, and Kel had though he was joking at the time. The idea of her as a rogue was quite laughable. She wasn't aware that she cut a rather fearsome figure to those at the guardhouse.

Kel had grown to about 5 feet 9 inches, and her 15th birthday was rapidly approaching. She was slender and muscled, with a few interesting scars across her body. Her face rarely gave away her feelings. Her hair, once only earlobe length had grown long enough for a small tail. Nobody really knew where she was from or who she was. They had gotten a sense that she had seen true fighting from her style.

A younger daughter of a traveling merchant family was the biggest contender in her origins, but that left a few questions unanswered, like where she had seen true combat. Daughter of the current rogue Calum the Ear was under consideration, but that was also under question because she seemed so innocent about the ways of Corus a lot of the time.

Kel hadn't explained who she was, liking the temporary anonymity. She knew it would come to an end eventually, but she would enjoy herself for now. If anyone asked, she would throw them a ridiculous lie. She ranged them from the daughter of the Lioness, a runaway Shang, child of players, the girl squire, and Protector of the Small. She didn't know where that last ridiculous name had come from, but it certainly wasn't her doing.

All she had done was help some local girls out. Teach them self defense, find them jobs and that sort of thing. She now realized that Doran hadn't entirely been joking when he made that rogue comment, and she wondered what had made him change his mind about the baton lessons.

* * *

_Flash to a month ago, Guardhouse_

Doran, out of sheer curiosity, and a little wariness, followed Kel one day after she left the watch-house. He didn't think she was dangerous, and was close to caving on the baton lessons. However, he just wanted assurance that she really wasn't a hidden daughter of the Rogue, or someone equally dangerous.

It would be something the wily rogue would get up to. He hadn't been named The Ear for nothing. He heard things he had no business hearing, and as of yet, the law still had no clue how it happened. Even in rooms warded by magic, the news often got out to him quickly. Curiously, he dogged her steps to a well-known dress shop in Midtown, one of the nice shopping district not far from his guardhouse.

He watched from the antiques and knick-knack shop across the street as Kel talked animatedly with a woman and girl in the shop for about 5 minutes before giving them both a hug, and the older woman a kiss on the cheek. She headed out the door and towards the main market.

Doran wandered to the keeper of the shop he was in, a stout older woman who looked as though she had been working in a dust factory. She had smudges up and down her face, but otherwise was put together. Her shop was tidy, though extremely dusty. He did know however that she was a gossip of the highest caliber.

"Mistress Curian, what do you know about the girl who works across the street in the dress shop?"

"That would be Lalasa Isran. It's actually her shop over there. She's a new dressmaker in the district. Very young too. Only about 19 I'd guess. I think she worked at the palace before coming down here, but I'm not sure about that. Some kindly noble lady was her benefactor, and gave her the money to start her shop. I do know that recently a lot more noble ladies have been coming down here for dresses though. Her work is beautiful."

"My thanks," Doran said, passing over a couple silver crescents, "Is there anything else you can think of?"

"Well, " she thought for a moment, glancing at her counter, "Oh!" She exclaimed, handing doran a small card from a stack, "In her spare time though, she teaches a class for young ladies about how to defend yourself from unwanted advances. It's quite popular, bless her heart. And very much needed. I think some of the priestesses for the Goddess have talked to her about it as well. Because of that also, she's become quite well known to many of the young ladies of the city, bless her heart."

Glancing down, Doran read the card:

Ladies' Self Defense

Weekday Evenings, 5-6

34 Canal Street Park

All welcome, free of charge.

Lalasa Isran, Instructor

"Thank you milday, you've been a great help." And with that, he walked out of the shop he was in and across the street.

"Good day to you, young lady." Straightening up, he began formally, clearing his throat. "Ms. Isran, may I ask you a few blunt questions? I'm an old man with not much time for dancing around the subject."

"Of course, Guardsman. I'll do what I can to help you with anything you need."

"What do you know about Keladry, the girl who was just here?"

"Milday is wonderful. Hard on clothes, but you'll never find a better soul. She helped to set me up with my shop you know. And she helped little Leifa here. And she taught me how to defend myself against a man I didn't want. I owe her everything I have, and I won't forget it for a day. She isn't in trouble, is she? Is there anything I can do to help? She hasn't done anything you know. Why are you ask-"

"Calm yourself, mistress," Doran said gently, "Keladry is not in any trouble. Do you know where she learned to fight like that?"

"Oh, please sir, Lalasa is fine." Straightening up, now that she knew Kel wasn't in trouble she continued, "She told me that she learned most of it in the Yamani Isles, when she stayed there as a child, Master Guardsman. Sir."

"The Isles? That would explain a lot, I guess." Thoughtfully, he turned to her once more, and watched her face intently as he asked, "She isn't involved with the Rogue that you know of? She asked if she could participate in the baton lessons, and I don't really have a good reason not to, other than she may be a spy for the Rogue. It wouldn't be the last time they tried to infiltrate my guardhouse."

Lalasa gaped at him for a moment before beginning to giggle. She had a minute of full blown laughter, before she responded breathlessly, "Sir, I think milday would be the last person you could expect to be attached to _any_ rogue, let alone The Rogue. She has saved me more than once, and this little one," she said pointing at Leifa, who was working busily in the corner, "was a pickpocket before lady Kel stepped in and dragged her, quite literally, out out of that life."

"Thank you, mistress. I know my sources in the court of the rogue hadn't even seen her before, but it doesn't hurt to be sure. What do you think she'll do with those lessons if given them?"

"Lady Kel? She probably just wants to know out of curiosity. I'm guessing it's a weapon she hasn't really used before, and probably one of the only ones she doesn't own herself. I know she's capable of defending herself without it." Doran smiled at that, knowing how true it was. Kel pestered him relentlessly about learning, and he knew she sometimes watched the lessons even if she didn't take part. He turned to look around the shop, but one more thing came to mind and he turned back to Lalasa.

"Would you do me a favor mistress? Could you not tell her I stopped by. I quite like her, and I don't think she would be too happy with me if she knew I followed her here. I haven't said a word of this to Keladry, but if you didn't either I would be much obliged."

"Perhaps. I owe everything I have here to her. She even took my case up with the magistrate and gave me the money won to start a shop here. But if you think it would make her unhappy, I'll think about it."

"My thanks, Lalasa. Now, onto other matters, how much would it cost to commission a dress for each of my granddaughters? I have four of them, and birthdays are calling my name. I hear you're one of the best in the city."

Only later did he realize how little he had learned from Lalasa.

* * *

_Real Time, for Kel_

Nearing the middle of March, Doran unexpectedly gave in to her about lessons, and she gratefully (and immediately) accepted. Finally, Kel was learning to use the heavy batons of the guard. Unsure of what convinced him to change his mind, she just gave him a smile, a bow, and her thanks.

Now, out training with the recruits, Kel found her mind wandering. Even with only attending about a quarter of the lessons, she could still keep up with most of the trainees without a problem.

She was, however unaccustomed to the odd weight of the weapon. Kel supposed it was rather like fighting with a cudgel or yamani bamboo sticks. It was more of a brute force weapon, but would hold up against almost anything someone would have on the streets of Corus. However, when she and her practice partner Camara, a trainee of the guard, heard the telltale rumblings of a distant thunder, the trainer began to wrap up the practice.

"Everybody in. I won't have my kiddies catching pneumonia in this downpour. We're doing memory work for the rest of the afternoon."

As the trainees took all of the Batons back to the shed to put away, Kel sat on the back fence and lost herself in thought.

She was eventually tossed in with the recruits once Doran relented. Kel was quickly catching on, though she wasn't able to practice with the baton nearly as much as the actual recruits. All of the guards were at least two years older than Kel since the minimum age for a trainee was 15. However, she had quickly earned their respect when she had displayed fighting knowledge beyond many of the younger guards, if not those seasoned on the streets. Kel was certain the older ones could take her out with those batons as fast as she could unseat them in a joust.

Idly, Kel wondered if she could convince any of them to teach her more than self defense with the knives she had spied on nearly every guard. They had some basic knife defense training because that was one of the weapons of choice on the street, but Kel's overwhelming curiosity was (once again) getting the best of her. That was one thing she had given up almost completely from the Isles, and she knew one day it may see her gutted if she didn't at least refresh herself on the basics. She had taken to carrying a few on her at all times, since she was spending a lot more time in the lower city now. Openly wearing a sword wasn't her best option, so she opted for knives.

As she lost herself in thought, the first raindrop struck her cheek. She glanced around her, and noted that all but one of the trainees were inside. Kel hastily put up her own baton, and followed them inside. She watched the setup for all of the indoors lessons, and grimaced at the thought. If she had to choose between lessons and the rain there was no contest.

She waved at Doran and Camara and then wandered out onto the streets of Corus just as the rain was becoming more than a drizzle. Thankfully it was a warmer day in April, or Kel would be vying with pneumonia herself until Neal got his hands on her. If that happened there would be hell to pay for being outside though. He was becoming more of a tyrant-healer than he used to be, after traveling with The Lioness for nearly a year.

Now that she was thinking about it, Kel realized that she had never been in Corus during rain. The city was usually a hurlyburly mess this time of day. It definitely had been crowded on the streets as she was walking down here. During the storm though, there was peace.

There were only a few people in the streets, and they were hurrying to get where they needed to be. For nearly an hour, Kel wandered about the lower city just reveling in the rain on her skin. It was when a gust came in with the rain that she started to get cold. Orienting herself, Kel picked up the pace to warm up and made for the palace. She idly thought 'At least I'm starting to learn my way around the city. I'm rarely lost anymore which is wonderful.'

As she entered the area for the kitchens, she ran into an unexpected body that came hurtling around a blind corner.

Quite literally ran into.

Blushing and steadying herself on the wall, she glanced up into the very familiar face of Neal.

"Neal! You're back," Kel practically flew over to him and gave him a hug. A dripping hug, but one he returned enthusiastically. Until he realized that the cold he felt wasn't just in his head, and was actually a product of her dripping clothes turning him into a human-sized towel.

"Great Mithros and the Bright Lady! Are you all right Kel?" asked Neal, as he pulled back and looked at her in distress. He took in her appearance which was rather akin to a drowned rat with a beaming smile.

"Of course I'm fine, Neal. What's gotten into you?" Kel asked, puzzled. He just looked at her like she was a moron and Kel remembered her state of dress.

"Right. I'm soaked. Sorry about that." She blushed harder as she realized her clothes were far from presentable.

"What do you mean you're fine?" He asked, now bordering on hysteria, "You're soaked to the bone and just got in from a torrential downpour? Even _I_ wouldn't be fine in this!" His vibrant green gift streaked from his fingers, as he assured himself that she was all right. Kel scowled at him as he worked and said,

"Neal, I'm perfectly fine. It's lovely out. I just walked up from the lower city. I love the rain."

"You love the rain?" Neal squeaked, "When did this happen?"

"Where do you think I go whenever it's storming? I'm certainly not hiding out with you ladies. I've always loved the rain." She just grinned at him and with that, she wandered off, leaving a stupefied Neal in her wake. She called back to him that she would find him after a hot bath.

He was now very glad the group had never mentioned their suspicions to Kel. Feeling the fool, he walked off in the direction he came from.

Kel nearly smacked herself after walking away. "He must think I'm a complete idiot now. I'm drenched. And I _threw_ myself at him." She continued ranting in her head. 'And I still have that blasted crust. At least I'm able to talk to him now. Mithros. He must be almost 20 by now.'

* * *

The next day, it was still raining and Kel was headed up to the curtain wall to lay out for a while on her back. On the way up, she ran into Neal.

"Kel! Just the girl I was looking for. Where are you headed?"

"The curtain wall."

"Kel, you are aware that once again, there is a downpour?"

"That is the point, Meathead." Neal grimaced, as his childhood nickname was brought up. "They do have lightning rods for a reason. The mages made it perfectly safe. The guards have to be up there in all conditions. They're not about to let them get struck by lightning. Though the needle does get hit quite often. You couldn't get me up there again for love or money. Not even on the inside." She shuddered, and Neal quickly changed the subject.

"I'm never going to be free of that blasted name am I?"

"Kel just grinned at him. Nope. Think of it as a term of endearment."

"Are you sure about that? I'm not sure I'd want my wife calling me that," He joked. Kel's stomach flipped once again as he mentioned a wife, but she just laughed it off and said, "Then it's a good think we aren't married isn't it, meathead." With that, she flounced off toward the curtain wall. He quickly caught up with her, and they walked in a happy silence the rest of the way up to the wall.

As they neared the door onto the wall, the noise of rain drumming was becoming more and more pronounced. Pausing at the open door, Neal glanced back at Kel.

"Are you certain this is a good idea? I don't know what kind of wind we're talking about here. And if you fall, nobody will ever forgive me. Especially your mother. And the queen. And your sisters. And _my_ sisters. And Buri too I bet. And Raoul would furious. And so would my lovely Knight-mistress. You have a lot of people who love you. You know that right? I'm not sure I want all of them angry at me. Just one of them angry would be bad enough. And our year mates wou- oof what was that for?"

Kel had shoved him through the open doorway and out onto the wall. They were both approaching the soaked point. Ignoring all of this, Kel gave Neal another shove and said,

"Just walk, you ninny. Haven't you done this before?"

"Nope. I wasn't really ever going to either."

"Well then, let's go," Kel said, and dragged him after her by the hand. She ignored the tingling sensation that went up to her elbows. Blessing of the Goddess indeed.

* * *

A/N: Once again, I hope you like it. ~Kaia


	4. Oblivious

A/N: I edited the timeline a bit for the progress and my own devious purposes, but it's not far off. For this chapter I'm going to make Kel very oblivious to the romantic happenings that include her. Kel knows that she's not like the court ladies. In her mind, She's tall, strong and ungainly; not someone boys will ever moon over. She doesn't think of herself as ugly or unattractive, but when she compares herself to the Queen's Ladies she finds herself lacking in the female aspects. These events took her completely unawares, and she still isn't really comprehending what happened too well.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sticking her head into Neal's tent, she prayed he was fully dressed to save her from more embarrassment than she would inevitable face in this conversation. Thankfully, his tent was very dark and she couldn't see much other than lumps in the dark. Softly, Kel called,

"Pssst, Neal. Hey, Neal, please wake up. It's Kel"

When he finally showed signs of stirring, she called quietly again, "Neal, I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Kel? What's going on? What _time_ is it_?_" Blushing, Kel responded

"Um, about 1:15. I think. I couldn't sleep, and I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"Not here, we'll wake up the entire row if we start talking here."

"If it's that important, give me a second to pull something decent on." Neal sounded confused, and Kel really couldn't blame him.

And then she registered what he said. Much to her chagrin it turned out that he _didn't_ sleep fully dressed. With a small yelp, Kel hastily yanked her head from the tent before she saw something she really shouldn't be seeing. She then turned an even deeper shade of red. Kel, at the moment, was very thankful that there was nobody around to see what color she was turning. When Neal finally stepped out of his tent, he looked rather rumpled and tired. Kel couldn't help but grin. He sleepily asked, "Where do you want to talk?"

Kel pointed towards the end of the tents in the open pasture they were camped out it. It should be quiet out there.

They walked down the row of tents quietly, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping knights or nobles. When they finally made it out beyond the last row of tents, Neal turned to Kel and asked, "What's on your mind?" He then proceeded to rub his eyes and stifle a massive yawn. Kel began to settle the saddle blanket she had brought with her on the ground as something to occupy her hands and eyes. As she worked, Kel tried to think of a way to say what kept running through her head.

Once the blanket was settled, Neal sprawled out on it, and Kel resumed her pacing, too nervous to sit.

She began to talk, but hesitated, wondering whether or not she really wanted to be discussing this with Neal of all people. If anything, her crush on him had only intensified, though she knew that if she had been hiding it for three years then she wasn't about to stop now.

His questioning gaze and sleepy eyes quickly snapped her back to reality. She had rolled Neal out of bed to talk, and he was expecting _something_. He was her best friend, and he deserved more than a flimsy excuse. He should know about this particular subject as well, seeing as how he tended to moon over ladies. Not only did he know Cleon personally, but he had been in love with at least half of the court ladies as a page. She realized she was starting to panic again.

Neal idly noted that Kel's blush was steadily deepening even though she hadn't said a word. Once again he wondered what on earth she wanted to talk about. Kel was never this flustered. Seeming to make a decision, Kel finally just blurted it out.

"Cleon kissed me."

Neal blinked once, and then with very little surprise, he replied, "He finally got around to that, did he? When?"

"Not long ago. Said it was for luck before one of my jousts, and then he kissed me. And then he fled. It saved me from responding, and I've been avoiding him since." She thought about it for a moment and then turned to him, "You don't seem surprised. Why aren't you surprised?"

"You know he's liked you for ages, right? Nearly 3 years."

"Are you joking? How do I face him now? I don't like him like that. Lalasa mentioned something about a conquest while we were still pages. Well, Cleon was a squire, but we were pages. I though she was joking though. Or exaggerating."

"Certainly not. How did you miss that? Everyone thought you were just too noble to say anything because you didn't want any romance."

"Are you telling me that every one of our friends knew this was going to happen and have been talking about it behind my back?"

"Well, we weren't intentionally going behind your back. He's made it relatively obvious that he likes you. Has even been rebuffing the court ladies who showed interest."

"You're joking," Kel said flatly. "Please, please tell me this is one massive joke," Kel said, her tone turning desperate.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Three hours ago:_

The Royal Progress had left Corus after March had wound down, but Raoul resisted joining it for as long as possible. After helping the mudslide victims, Raoul and third company had taken their sweet time getting back to Corus. If Raoul had his way in this matter, the group wouldn't have joined at all. However, they had been rather forcefully called to attend the King and his Progress in late April. That had been 2 weeks ago, and Kel already thought she was going out of her mind.

Neal and Lady Alanna had just joined the progress the day before, and Kel needed to talk to somebody. There was an endless stream of balls and parties, and now this ... _thing. _This awful thing she didn't even want to think about. It was enough to make her head spin, and if she didn't talk to someone she would probably just start talking to herself.She had tried talking to Yuki and Shinko about it, but they didn't know Cleon so it just made it strange and unhelpful.

Kel had to get this weight off of her chest. Unable to sleep, but unwilling to leave the confines of her tent because she may run into Cleon alone, Kel took to pacing around her tent.

After about 15 minutes into her pacing and muttering, Raoul had stuck his head through the adjoining flap and asked,

"If you're not going to sleep soon will you please pace elsewhere? Us sane folk are trying to get some shut-eye. I'm more than willing to talk to you in the morning, but you won't get much more lucidity from me right now."

So Kel stopped pacing for a short while, and sat on her cot. It soon appeared that with all the thoughts racing through her head she wasn't going to get even a wink of sleep until she talked to someone. That left her with one remaining dilemma: Who to talk to.

Yuki was out of the picture for now, as was Shinko. Kel had already talked to them. Their advice, while good general advice, wasn't very helpful in the current situation.

Kel's unique situation was that she shared nearly all of her good friends with Cleon, and didn't want to split them down the middle. She didn't think he would react too badly, because it was Cleon they were talking about, but in this case it was better to be safe than sorry.

However, a thought struck her as she was thinking about their friends. Why not go talk to one of those friends? Maybe they would know what to do. And of those friends, Neal really was the only option. Still, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to Neal about this. His eyes still did strange things to her stomach. Thins she _also_ really didn't want to think about right now. Things she _definitely_ couldn't tell Neal about. Gods, if her friendship went bad with Neal it would make this entire situation seem like a stroll in the palace gardens.

Hastily, she grabbed Hoshi's saddle blanket and started to search for Lady Alanna's tent in the dark. After about 5 minutes of looking, she found Neal's horse picketed in front of a tent like the one she used with her knight-master. She quickly realized that she had no idea how this conversation was going to go and began to fret again.

That was how Kel found herself pacing outside Neal's tent around 1 in the morning. Finally working up the courage, Kel stuck her head in.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Real Time_

"You're joking," Kel said flatly. "Please, please tell me this is one massive joke," Kel said, her tone turning desperate.

"Mithros, this has you extremely upset," Neal said, after a few moments of silence. "Why does this bother you so much?"

"Because it's not supposed to happen," Kel began, almost angrily. "I'm just supposed to focus on getting my shield. You are all _friends_." Her voiced dropped in volume, but not intensity, "Can you even imagine what would happen if someone started to court me? It would be a nightmare. The gossips would have a field day. No. Sweethearts are out of the question." Kel resumed her pacing as she continued to talk, "I don't know if I can handle any more distractions than I have already." Kel drew a deep breath and sighed, looking away. In nearly a whisper, she continued, "I didn't even realize that boys were looking at me. I'm no court beauty like you lads are always sighing over. But what can I do about Cleon?I don't know how to deal with this. _He_ is the current situation for which I seek advice."

"Well, with Cleon you should just be forward about your intentions. Go find him and tell him how you feel. If you don't want to be sweethearts he deserves to know, rather than be left hanging."

"I know. But what if he hates me for it?"

"Kel, I think he'll understand. Just be nice to him. Understanding"

Kel thought about it, and nodded. She didn't really understand Cleon's situation, but she supposed she could be understanding. Kel took a few deep breaths and nodded again.

"It's just, I like him. I really do. He's nice. He's never made fun of me or been cruel, but my shield is so important to me. I know every _woman_ is supposed to dream about making a good marriage to a rich family in the Book of Gold, but what I've always dreamed about is being a knight. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle."

Neal looked at her, in curiosity. They had never really spoken about this before, why they chose to train for knighthood. Kel did know he had given up as a university healer to uphold the tradition of the Queenscove line, though he didn't know her reasoning. He nodded at her to go on, and still pacing, Kel continued.

"My mother. She's a fierce woman. She's definitely a lady, but being in the Yamani isles changed her. Made her more fierce. Papa tells me she was always independent, but in Yaman, it's tradition for noblewomen to bear the _naginata_, the glaive. I'm guessing you already know that. I haven't told you about the time pirates hit the island though.

"Pirates are a common thing because Yaman is a chain of islands. When I was 8, pirates his in force, but that time was different. That time, the raiders were focused on one thing only: getting the sacred yamani swords. I was praying with mama in the temple, " Kel had stopped pacing by now, and slowly sat down next to Neal on the blanket.

She could see the day clearly in her mind, forever burned into her memory.

"Mama had been training with the glaive for nearly four years at court. I was almost eight at the time. Raiders made it to the temple just outside of the palace. My mother dragged me behind her and went to protect the swords. She killed four pirates by herself before the Imperial Guard made it to the temple. She was credited with saving the treasures. My family gained high honors, _very_ high honors, in the Yamani court because of that. Since then, I've always wanted to be a warrior, to protect people. Part of it may be that I wanted to help people who couldn't help themselves too." Her mind briefly flashed to Conal holding her over a balcony, but she quickly snapped back to the present.

Neal asked a few questions, and Kel answered all of them. She was never going to forget that day, and she supposed the academic in Neal demanded all the answers it could find.

Neal listened very carefully to the answers she gave. He had never heard about this, so he assumed it wasn't common knowledge in Tortall. He couldn't imagine why it wasn't though, because it was probably one of the main reasons the peace treaty with the Isles had come together as neatly and quickly as it had. Snapping out of his thoughts, he sat up halfway and looked over at Kel.

Her dreamer's eyes were half open, and she was worlds away. Sitting with her legs crossed, she looked to finally be at peace. He lay back down in silence, and just thought for a while.

"You're right. I hadn't heard that," he finally said. "But I guess I do understand your point. I'm becoming a knight because of tradition. You're doing it for personal honor. For your dreams." He sighed a little. "You put me to shame every time we have a discussion."

He was obviously teasing, but Kel still looked over at him questioningly. "I'm teasing you, lady squire. Please relax."

'_Though it does have some truth,_' he thought privately. She was the most honorable person he knew, without question.

Kel just smiled back at him and also laid back on the blanket. Their heads were going in opposite directions, and they weren't touching, but it was rather intimate. She just lay silently, thinking about the muddle her life had become.

After a few minutes of silence with both of them lost in their thoughts, Neal spoke once more. "I respect your decision though. I think it's incredible that you've put your shield above anything else. Even it it's just for now."

Kel sighed (she was doing a lot of that tonight), and resolved once more to quash her feelings for the green-eyed man laying next to her. She hadn't been lying when she said she was putting her shield above any romantic interests she may have. Especially romantic interests that may wreck strong, normal, happy friendships.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, after another moment of silence.

"For what?" he asked, just as softly.

"Peace of mind."

"What are friends for?"

She just took another deep breath. They lay in silent contemplation, both flirting with sleep but not sucumbing. The night was lovely and the company was good. Half an hour later, they both made their way back to their respective knight-masters, deep in thought.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning after breakfast, Kel found Cleon hanging around the lists for the tournament. She wandered up next to him and said quietly,

"Cleon, we need to talk."

"I know, Kel" He thought for a minute, and then gestured for her to choose a location. She led the way back to her tent, and he followed in silence. Once inside, he stepped closer, but she held up a hand to halt his advance.

"_Talk_." She said firmly, leaving no other alternative.

"All right," he said nervously, "Where do you want to start?"

After another moment of awkward silence, Kel worked up her nerve enough to start. "Look, Cleon," she began, while staring intently at her shoes, "I do like you as a friend, but it's nothing more. It _can't_ be anything more. I started my page and squire training to get my shield. Not to meet boys."

"But can't you do both?" He asked, almost pleading.

"No, I don't think I can. Not like this." She dragged her head up and looked at him intently, "Look. I'm sorry. I care for you a lot. I'll always care about you, but now it's as a friend. I really do admire your courage though."

He digested this, and took a deep breath. Eyes downcast, he asked, "Is there someone else?"

She thought for a moment and replied, "...no. Nobody. And even if there was I wouldn't act on it. My shield is something I've been dreaming of for years."

After another pause, he finally replied, "I understand. And thank you for being honest with me."

"Cleon, please look at me." Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers.

"I value your friendship, and I don't want to lose it. Will you be able to talk to me after this?"

"Yes, of course. I have been talking to you for a while and I liked you then. I did consider this result as a possibility." He gave a short laugh, "I was kind of hoping it wouldn't happen, but it was in the back of my mind. Just give me some time to sort this out in my head, and I promise we'll go back to friends."

"Thank you."

"For you, Kel. And if you change your mind..." With that confusing ending, he gave her a swift kiss on the cheek and walked out of the tent.

She just sat on her cot, completely baffled. After about 5 minutes of muddled thinking, she stood up and muttered,

"Alanna had it so much easier. She only had to deal with hiding her identity from everyone. Not trying to sort all of this confusing girl things out herself." She then began to get ready for the rest of the day.

"I'm not too sure about that," A voice said from behind her.

Kel spun around in complete surprise, "Milord, I didn't hear you there."

He chuckled, having guessed as much from her apparent surprise. "I've been standing here for quite some time. You must have been lost in thought. But you may want to question your friend Queenscove a little more closely. I think you may be surprised at what Alanna had to deal with as a squire. Though I only found out a few details later."

She just nodded in response, and resolved to ask Neal about those stories later. She nearly smacked herself for not thinking of that sooner. Though she had been rather bitter until she spent a good deal of time with Lord Raoul. Now though, she couldn't wait to pump Neal for information on her personal hero.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: I've decided to hold this here for now. I don't think _my_ Kel right now wants anything to do with boys. Well, boys that aren't Neal at least, and possibly not even him. She's had a little more time to think about what she wants, and definitely came to a few different conclusions than cannon Kel did. Comments? Questions? Leave a review ~Kaia


	5. Dom and The Dove

**A/N: Progress is over. Complete war has broken out in the North. Third Company is stationed in Corus. Raoul is chafing at the bit. I was planning on adding a few more chapters into the Progress, as it's a good situation for it. I just kept coming up blank, or with things that were so obviously OC that it pained me to write them. So I jumped to the end of the Progress. Maybe I'll put a flashback in if I come up with something original, but I wouldn't count on it.**

"Hey Dom, do you have some free time?" Dom looked up, clearly a little surprised. Neal was standing over him, casting a shadow on his work. It was late afternoon, and Dom had been touching up his armor. He finished with his squad for the day, and was thinking about settling down for some quality drinking time with his men.

"Sure, what are you up to?"

"I dunno... I haven't talked to you in a while. Can't a man spend some time with his cousin?"

It turns out that Neal dragged Dom out on a cousin's outing. He wouldn't tell him anything about what was going on, just that he wanted to spend some time with his favorite cousin. Superficially they had gone to the city to pick up some weapons, but Dom was sure something else was afoot. Neal seemed relatively normal and upbeat, but there was obviously something bothering him.

They made their way down into Corus, and finished up their errands quickly. They idled about in the market for a while, before Neal sighed and started wandering into the lower parts of the city. After stopping for some food from one of the stall, Neal continued dragging his cousin lower and lower into the city.

After about 20 minutes of walking, Dom was thoroughly confused, and Neal still wasn't talking. They were in the lower city proper by now, but Neal still seemed to know exactly where he was heading. Finally arriving at a rather battered looking tavern, Dom looked up curiously, and blanched when he did.

"The _Dancing Dove?" _Dom asked incredulously, "Neal, please tell me my neck will be intact, along with my purse, at the end of the night."

"You're fine. I've been here before, and my knight mistress's husband told me the ins and outs here. Especially about how to survive it. Right now, I just want a nice quiet place to talk where absolutely nobody I know is around or liable to overhear."

"Neal, you're really not making much sense," Dom complained, as Neal dragged him over to one of the unoccupied tables.

"I don't need to make sense. Look. Just hear me out, OK?" Neal asked, his face uncharacteristically serious.

Dom, sensing the mood, didn't make a crack at Neal like he had been considering. Instead, he seriously met his cousin's eyes. "Neal, you know you're like a younger brother to me, no matter how much I enjoy teasing you. If you need something just tell me."

"It's about Kel," He said, looking down at his hands, "I know you and third company are riding north soon, and I can't help but worry about her. It's ridiculous, yes, but will you promise me to keep an eye on her?"

"You don't have to ask, meathead," Dom said exasperated. "I already know you and your lovely knight-mistress will slice me and Raoul into small pieces if anything happens to her."

"It's not even that. I know she can take care of herself in a fight. It's the other times I'm worried about. Like forgetting to eat. Or refusing to rest when injured."

"Neal, If you're a brother, she's a sister. Although, I really don't think I'd want my sisters on the front lines of a war. But I will keep my eye out for her. Qasim thinks of her as a daughter too. She's not friendless in the Own. Why the sudden interest in Kel, may I ask?"

"It's not sudden." Neal said, thoughtfully, "This is the first time I don't think she fully realizes what she's riding into. Bandits? Easy. Flooding? Not a problem. Progress? Jousting and Yamanis. She couldn't have been more at home. But war? I don't think she knows. Not really. You and I remember the Immortals War, but she wasn't here for that."

Dom took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You know, you may be right," he said slowly, thinking it over. Neal, seeing that he had gotten through to Dom quickly replied,

"Of course I'm right, dolt." Regaining a little of his humor, he continued, "I'm always right." Sobering up, he added darkly, "especially about Kel," conveniently forgetting that she had been a nest full of surprises the past few years.

"I'll keep my eye on her, and I'll make sure the rest of the Own does too. On that you have my vow." Dom said seriously

"Brilliant," Neal exclaimed, much more upbeat with that weight off of his chest, "Now, I show you what the Dove is famous for."

As evening fell, the cousins drank and bantered, though Neal kept his head. With the Gift, it was very inadvisable to get drunk. Men came over to talk to Neal, and the cousins were slowly integrated into the boisterous patrons of the tavern. It seemed Neal knew many of the patrons of this particular bar, and Dom wondered why Alanna's husband would know anything particular about them. But he shook it off as folly. Grinning once more (his face hurt he had been smiling so much), he entered himself into the arm wrestling tournament and eventually won second place, much to his surprise. A hulking bear of a man took first, but second wasn't anything to sneeze at.

Apparently the ladies didn't think it was either, because he soon found himself with a lapful of skirts, and a grinning young girl. He would have to thank Neal later. Now, he was rather busy.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Neal, noting his cousin was otherwise occupied, sank into deep conversation with a few of the men at the bar.

"Any new news, Yurik?" He asked a dark blond man sitting beside him. "Not really, " The tall, wiry man replied amiably. Yurik was one of George's agents in the city, and he had spoken to Neal and Alanna before. Neal had taken a liking to the bloke, and the man respected Neal ever since he had healed Yurik's daughter of the smallpox.

"The city is quiet. The rogue knows everything. If you drop something, it falls in the mud. Everything is just about the same as always I'd say. The women of the city are becoming more feisty, but I'm not one to be saying that's a bad thing. My own lady has started taking those self defense classes that wench offers. A lot of terrible men keep finding themselves at the steps of the temple of the Goddess. I'd say it's all thanks to that Lalasa girl and the Protector of the Small. Women Idolize her." He shook his head and took a slow drink from his mug.

"Protector of the Small? What is this?" Neal asked, his curiosity piqued, "And you mean Lalasa is actually teaching people to defend themselves?" He gave a disbelieving snort at that, remembering her face when they had tried to teach her some of the holds that Kel knew.

"I don't really know. I'd say it's a rumor made up by the people of the city, but I've seen her myself. Some lass. 18 or so. Tall. Strong looking. She's around in the Lower city quite often with Lalasa and by herself. Gets little ones out of trouble, saves women being harmed by men. Slays dragons with the sharpness of her tongue and wits. That sort of thing. It's bordering on local hero statues. I'm surprised you haven't heard of her Even the noble ladies are starting to talk about it. Made my daughter change her mind about being just a ladies maid. Now she want's to be a lady's maid _and _a lady's guard."

He shook his head wonderingly, "Though I guess I should be happy nobody's gonna' be forcing my Chara to do anything she doesn't want to. She threw me into a door yesterday. My wife wouldn't stop laughing either." he said, chagrined.

"I've been out of the city for a while," Neal replied vaguely, his mind on a very similar scenario three years ago. "It's about time somebody stood up for women around here. I'm surprised the queen hasn't done anything the way she's been going on."

"Well, it was coming on slowly before. Now it's coming on like a raging river. Most of those morons had it coming though."

Neal drifted off into thought, eventually snapping out of it. He did the required flirting with the ladies of the rogue though his heart wasn't entirely in it. Eventually he dragged Dom out of the building before he lost not only all of his money, but all of his dignity.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

After Neal had deposited him in his room at the barracks, Dom leaned back on his bed and thought to himself, sorting through all that had happened that night. He had a fantastic time, but couldn't get his mind off of the conversation he had with Neal before they started drinking. He was very serious about the lady squire. More serious than expected. He ran through all of the options, and finally drew the only conclusion that was left. He started and nearly choked with laughter.

'_Neal likes Kel. Who would have thought. I always thought he had a thing for that Yamani Lady... Yukemi I think. They always were arguing. But perhaps not. I may have to ask Kel very, very nicely to introduce us. On second thought, that may not be the healthiest of plans. Perhaps I should take up the glaive. Now _there's_ an idea. I will have to be more careful around Kel though.' _he mused, '_Neal would murder me if he caught me flirting too hard. On that note, Kel may murder me as well.'_

Laughing to himself and still rather intoxicated, he settled back down and drifted off to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: I work at a residential summer camp, and I'm leaving home June 11th. I will probably post much less frequently while I'm away, if at all. I'll be there until late August, so until then there won't be much. I'll attempt to post one or two more between now and my departure, but I can really make no promises. Once I'm there I'll write on paper as much as I can, but internet access is so limited that anything more than a chapter or so every month making it to the web will be a miracle.**

**I also just had this in my head for a while. It really doesn't include Kel. I'm planning on adding a companion chapter to this and I was going to put it up at the same time. However, I'm not finished with it yet and figured why make you wait longer. I promise to get that one up pretty soon though.**


	6. Uncertain

**Uncertain**

**A/N: None of this lovely world is mine, though I claim the plot as at least partially original. I didn't intend to rip anything off of someone else. If I did it without noticing, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.**

**I also apologize for the ridiculous delay in updates. I'm back from camping in the middle of nowhere now, and no longer muddled without internet. Hopefully the updates will be rather regular from now on out, so please let me know your honest opinions of my writing, both good and bad. ~Kaia**

Kel leaned back in her bunk, a bit restless. Her stomach rumbled, but she barely gave it a second thought. Third company would be riding out in two days for the Scanran border, and food wasn't the most important thing on her mind. She was a knot of emotions about the task, even though she had been looking forward to this since the skirmished had slowly morphed into attacks. Excitement warred with tension in her mind, as she recalled all of her experiences that could possibly tell her what this was going to be like. Despite all of that though, she knew if she came out of the war strong then nobody would be able to dispute her status as a warrior. Well, nobody who knew what it was like to meet the kraken. Someone would always dispute her status.

Even Lord Wyldon had grudgingly acknowledged her accomplishments. She wondered how Owen was doing with him at the moment. The strange pair had ridden north together about 5 months ago when Wyldon had been assigned the command of one of the major forts. Knowing Owen though, he was probably gleeful about being able to battle, and Scanrans weren't that much different than the bandits he hated with a passion.

Her stomach rumbled insistently, and Kel tried to remember the last time she had eaten. She had realized the company was going north midmorning after two weeks of exercises, and had been too nervous about the thought to eat and lunch. Breakfast had been foregone for a tutoring session for the Royal Ladies. They were nearly up to snuff after nearly 2 years of sporadic glaive lessons. They had come to watch the tail end of the dawn session Kel almost always attended with the Yamani ladies, and the group had persuaded her to help them a little bit with their practice. After that, Kel had to run to meet Lord Raoul in the Own's mess, and as soon as she had shown up he had dragged her off to do more inventory work.

Kel finally figured that since last night, she had eaten a sum total of two pieces of bread and a link of sausage that she had been able to smuggle out of the kitchen. No wonder she was hungry. She would grab something quickly and run down to the city to meet Lalasa.

After begging a sandwich from the cooks, Kel meandered down to the dressmaker's shop. It was almost an hour until Lalasa taught her class in the park, so she had some time before Lalasa would close down her store to say hello. Strolling through the city, she pulled her coat around her at the last of the March chills. Here and there, a shopkeeper or a young girl would wave to her, and she would wave back. Kel knew the ridiculous name they were calling her behind her back, and had attempted to stop it. However, no matter what she said they would always just continue when she walked away.

"Afternoon, Lady Protector," a small girl around 13 waved. Kel couldn't help but smile. When she waved back, the girl asked if she would be in the park this evening.

"I hope so." The girl nearly squealed at those words, and ran off down the street, her skirts flaring behind her. Kel thought there was something a little odd about the way the skirts moved, but didn't think much more of it as she was nearly at Lalasa's.

Finally some things were changing in the lower city. Doran had told her that a lot more girls were applying for guard positions now than there were before Lalasa's lessons. He also commented darkly that there were also a lot fewer rapes they had to deal with. He had realized nearly a year ago that Kel was one of the ones helping out with the daily lessons when he had brought some of his little granddaughters to watch the defense classes.

Of course the girls had besieged him with questions when the lessons started, and insisted he help them learn until they were big enough to go to the classes by himself. He had answered the questions as well as he could, and then later besieged Kel with questions.

"My maid, " she said grimly, as she began to explain, "was assaulted by the worst type of nobleman. She would have been- " Kel broke off and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "When I came across them, he had yanked her arm around and was trying to kiss her. She put up a right fight though, and made enough of a scene that nobody in their right mind would have said it was consensual."

"That was the first time I had ever really argued with her. She begged me not to go to the courts with it, because his family was powerful, and had good contacts. She was right of course, but I should have done _something_. I didn't though. So after that I started trying to help people, _women,_ learn. Women whose only means of defense used to be screaming and anyone who might take pity on them." Kel was getting visibly angry once again, so Doran put a hand on her shoulder.

"You've done a world of good, lass. Nobody could have asked for more. You've saved many more than one woman from that fate."

"But I haven't. You don't know that. He was convicted last year of the rape of three lower city women. If I had reported him - "

"Lass," Doran said again, "Now you know. Next time, if something happens, the women will be able to defend themselves. How old were you?"

"Thirteen. " Kel said slowly.

"Now how old was he?"

"Sixteen."

"So you're telling me that you and Lalasa alone fought off a strapping young nobleman intent on raping her? I'd call that a win. Ahh - " he held up a hand to forestall whatever it was she was about to say,

"Do you really think that if you told the courts they would have done something about it? It really _would_ have been your word against his. Think hard Kel."

So Kel did think about it. Vinson had told her directly that it would be her word against his, and although he had a bad reputation in the palace, she did as well. She had heaved a deep sigh, and admitted that he had a point.

Kel snapped out of the memory as she placed a hand on the dressmaker's door. She could see the older girl inside, hard at work on an elaborate black silk dress. As Kel pushed open the door, Lalasa glanced up and smiled when she saw Kel.

"Milady. How are you? How is that rowdy group of your friends? What brings you here?"

"I don't mean to distract you from your work."

"No distraction. Lady Moragon is a right harridan, but she pays well so I've taken a commission from her." Kel smiled and glanced around her. There were a few pre-made dresses hanging on racks, and what looked like an embroidered pair of breeches. The shop was definitely flourishing though, so Kel was quite happy for Lalasa, even if it meant she was very busy.

"Are you coming to the session tonight in the park?" She enquired.

"I was thinking about it, even though it's not my night tonight. I need something to get away from some of this stress." Kel nodded, remembering the rider girls and one female guardswoman that had also begun to teach some of the evenings.

"Would you be able to talk with me a little first? I'm sure you can sew while I talk at least, so I shouldn't be too much in your way."

"Of course."

So Kel proceeded to tell Lalasa what was going to be happening with third company, and the war. Lalasa was understandably upset, but after a moment of fussing, she swiftly walked behind the counter and grabbed a large bag of material.

"This is another set of new uniforms for you, since you run through yours like food. I also dropped in a set of riding dresses that are becoming a new fashion in the lower city and a bit up at the palace." she held up a skirt in question. "They look completely full, but split all the way up both sides. There are light breeches to wear underneath if you don't want to lose any modesty though. They're also much better for winter since I'm guessing they're quite warm. The Queen's Ladies helped me to design them since they kept tearing up their dresses keeping up with the Queen herself. They asked me to make a set for you as well."

Kel inspected the garment. It looked like Lalasa said it would, but it seemed like so much of a hassle, just to wear a dress. However, if she ever wanted to look nice when she went riding, Kel knew what she would be wearing.

Giving Lalasa a hug, she promised to look for her when the training started, but she wanted to try and catch Doran before he went home for the day.

Ten minutes later found Kel entering the Guard house, and thankfully Doran was inside and relatively unoccupied.

"Hi, sir"

"Kel, wonderful to see you again. What brings you out to this part of town? You've already beaten half of my guards into submission with their own batons." Kel smiled happily at the memory of beating an overbearing old guard with his own baton after disarming him.

"I.. um... wanted to come say hello, and tell you I probably won't make it down here again until Midwinter." Doran frowned for a moment, and then asked,

"Why so long? I know you've been gone for a few months before, but I don't think it's ever been an entire year."

"Well... oh, I don't know why this is so difficult. It's become almost a game not telling you who I was. I never meant it as actual deception." He just smiled.

"I've figured out you're the one helping out all the women around the city. I don't think my opinion of you is going to drop just because of your name."

"Keladry of Mindelan. The crazy girl going for her shield. My knight master Lord Raoul of Goldenlake is going up to the border with third company and I'm bound to go with him. It will probably break out into war soon."

Doran sat and blinked for a minute, assimilating all the new information into the mental file he had with the strange girl he knew only as Keladry. He grinned. "Well, that was one of my guesses, but I'll admit I dismissed it because you seemed so comfortable will all us commoners. You know most nobles turn their noses up at all of us without rank."

"I know, " groused Kel uncomfortably. "Most of my family excepting my parents and one or two brothers all feel the same way. It's why I didn't want to tell anyone here. I noticed you don't feel all too favorably to most nobles, and I didn't want to get lumped into that category. After a few months of it though, it had turned into a game so I never brought it up."

"Camara stands to win a fortune you know. The bets around the house have been raging for a while. I think she only guessed because of the way you handled yourself with a baton. No wonder your maid laughed at me when I asked if you were with the rogue."

"You thought I was rogue?" Kel giggled at the thought. "Hey now," He protested, "respect your elders."

"You don't do that nearly as well as mama," Kel laughed, happy that he wasn't treating her any differently. "Are you going to tell everyone? If I get my shield I want to come down here with it and show off ridiculously."

"It would be an interesting surprise," He said, his eyes sparking wickedly. "You should probably tell Camara though. Or I will."

"Of course."

As they hammered out the details, Kel sighed. So one half of her life knew about the other. She probably wouldn't be able to avoid the ridiculous title for much longer. A lot of people in the city already insisted on calling her by that ridiculous name. Lord Raoul had guessed that she was involved in the women's revolution that was slowly happening in the lower city, but Kel didn't think he knew the full extent of it.

Only George of Pirate's Swoop certainly knew who the Protector of the Small was, but he wasn't telling anyone. Let the world get tricked while he sat back and watched.

________________________________________________________

After the training that evening, (which had a ridiculously large turnout since the girl Kel ran into had spread the word like wildfire) Lalasa convinced Kel to put on the new dress to see how it fit. Kel, chagrined, made her way with the newly confident Lalasa to the nearest bathhouse to clean up a little bit.

Once the dress was on, Kel had to admit that it was much easier to move around in than normal skirts were, and since Lalasa made it of course it was beautifully stitched. If only she had this when she was a page, then she wouldn't have had to put on fighting clothes to find Joren and his team of goons. She looked at herself in the mirror, and let down her hair. Perhaps she would never be beautiful, but she thought she made a good attempt on what she might have looked like if she tried to be a lady rather than a knight.

Walking back out to Lalasa, Kel was not surprised to find her friend waiting impatiently to drag her to dinner.

What was supposed to be dinner turned out to be dinner and dancing. Lalasa even convinced some of the local women to introduce them to some of the young men in the large inn they chose. Those men certainly weren't thinking that Kel was unladylike. After a while though, when Kel and Lalasa were taking a break, they began to talk in earnest.

"I don't know what to think about the border duty we're going to. This is going to make or break me."

"Milady, I don't think that anyone will dispute your fighting ability."

"It's not that. It's just... I need to be the absolute best of the best. I can't be second best or everyone will say that I don't deserve a shield. I _have _to be the best."

"But you _are_ the best of the best." Lalasa said earnestly, "you embody what it means to be a knight. Chivalry, Honor, Justice... I don't think I could name one more person with more integrity than you."

"But nobody in the city even knows who I am."

"What does a name matter?"

"I've been deceiving all of these people. They deserve better."

"So you're telling me that you haven't given your all in the training sessions you've given these ladies?"

"No, but -" Kel was cut off.

"Then you misrepresented what your intentions were when you tried to help people in the city?"

"_No_, but - "

"So basically all you didn't do was tell them you're a noble."

"Yes, exactly."

"Kel, " Lalasa said, growing exasperated, "Do you _really_ think anyone cares?" That stopped Kel short. Of course she believed they cared, but then she really thought about it.

A few of the younger noblewomen who lived in the city had been coming to the lessons more recently, and they were treated the same as everyone else. Perhaps some of the normal lades were a little cooler, but they didn't really care.

"Kel," Lalasa began, "you could be the Rogue's daughter or the Queen of Galla, and it wouldn't make a whit of a difference to every single woman you've helped. It doesn't matter who you are, in this case. It matters what you've done."

Kel sighed and then smiled at Lalasa. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure. You know... " She began, getting a small smile on her face and a devious glint in her eye, "If some of the young men in here knew that you were the Protector of the Small you wouldn't lack for a partner the rest of the night."

"Lalasa!" Kel hissed, scandalized.

"You need to loosen up, milady. Or is there someone else you're thinking of?"

Kel's mind immediately flashed to a pair of bright green eyes and tingling hands. She kept her mouth shut and eyes averted, but Lalasa knew her well enough to see the faintest blush spreading across her nose.

"There is, " She nearly squealed. "Who is it? Is it someone I know? Are they in the King's Own? Is it Neal? Owen? Merric? Dom? Lear -"

"Lalasa! Anyone could hear you. And why do you need to know? I'm definitely not going to act on it. Plus, he's never given any hint that he likes me, and I really don't want to mess up our friendship, and I have to think about war, and getting my shield."

Lalasa's mind flashed instantly back to a conversation she had five years ago with Kel. It had run almost exactly like this one was going.

"It's Neal isn't it," she said, sure of herself.

Kel blushed even deeper, and then paled. "Yes," she eventually sighed.

"Why are you upset? He thinks the world of you."

"But if we try something and it doesn't work out, I'll never be able to look him in the face again."

"Is it worth it for love?"

Kel just sighed. That's a question I need to answer for myself, she thought. Nothing is happening until I get my shield though. I didn't lie to Cleon when I told him that.

After a few minutes of some quiet chatter, the two were pulled out of their seats and into the dancing when a girl's country dance began to form. The large circle of girls and women grew and shifted, full of ladies laughing gaily with the other girls, but Kel's mind was elsewhere.

**A/N: That's it folks. I'll love you forever if you drop me a review. Once again, sorry for the huge gap in updates.**


	7. Sorrow

**A/N: This particular scene hammered at the back of my head until I gave in and put it down on paper at 3 am when I was unable to sleep. I know it's not exactly a full chapter, but I had to write it. These aren't my people, and I'm making no money from this. ~Kaia**

Have you ever been so fully immersed in something physically demanding that everything else simply falls away and ceases to matter?

Have you entered that euphoric state, running on a pure haze of adrenaline? Have you been so perfectly centered that you feel like you can see two seconds into the future to allow for correcting any errors you may make? Had such a sense of your own presence that you _knew,_ absolutely, that what you were doing was right? That you only need to eat and perform?

That was what Kel felt during battle. Fierce Joy. Pride. Arrogance.

It may have been ironic that Kel found a sort of mental peace in battle, but she wasn't one to ask questions. She focused, immersed herself, and excelled. Everyone was astounded. Sure, perhaps after the first few battles she had made a stupid mistake like forgetting her helmet in overconfidence, but when Kel was on, she was on (and after that remembered at least for a while that hubris was worse than incompetence). Though third company was generally amazed by this talent, they had ceased to be surprised by anything strange Kel did anymore.

So Kel rode the rolling tide of battle for the first time, letting the peace wash over her with the crashing of metal, and the hoarse shouting voices. Slowly, the tide receded, and she looked at the field around her. Dom was leaning over one of his injured men, Fulcher perhaps, who had a long wound running the length of his thigh. Scanran bodies were scattered across the field. Tortallan bodies, though not as many in number, were also down across the field.

She could hear men screaming. She smelled the blood and gore. She saw not only the bloody carnage below her feet, but the stormwings circling above her head. She knew that if the remaining living soldiers didn't move the bodies of their own _right now_ they would be horrifically desecrated.

Kel was nauseated. Her stomach rolled. She had loved this. _This_. This place where so many people had died for one madman's cause. Her stomach rolled, and she hauled herself over to the side where she could throw up and cry in private. She had been longing for battle for so long, and all it would ever bring anyone was death and destruction.

After Kel rinsed her mouth out, she got on her knees and prayed. She prayed to the Black God for all that had fallen. She prayed to Mithros that the war would be short and bloodless. She prayed to the Great Mother for all those who had lost a husband or a lover or a son. When she could pray no more, she put her forehead to the ground and cried.

Though she wasn't noticed by anyone for a while, Qasim found her twenty minutes later. She was bent in a supplicant position, forehead on the ground. Her body, no longer shaking with sobs, was tired and strung out. He knew immediately what had happened. Many first time soldiers went through this, though he would confess that he hadn't expected it from Kel this time. He expected it after the Haresfield bandits, but not now.

"Keladry," he began quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder, "please sit up."

Kel obeyed him slowly, her muscles screaming and stiff. If she hadn't been so distraught she would have remembered to stretch out before collapsing.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should be helping with the burial."

"No Keladry. I do think I should talk to you though." Kel's face shuttered and she put her head down to the ground once more in shame. If anything this proved that she wasn't fit at all to be a knight. Especially not if she reacted like this.

"Kel, please look up." When she didn't move at all, he just continued talking. "I hope you know that you aren't the first person to react like this. I've had this talk with new members of my squadron before. I know Raoul had this talk with me during the immortals war, right after I'd seen one of my first bloodbaths."

At those words, Kel was able to lift her head higher than her knees, though she still wouldn't look up. He sat next to her in silence for a while, before he finally said, "There is no shame in emotion. If you felt nothing at the death of this many you would not be the girl I thought you were. I wasn't expecting you to take it this hard, but there is no shame in sorrow."

"But it was so easy," She whispered to him, speaking her first words. "I loved it, until I looked across the field and realized what it all meant. This isn't like bandits. These men are doing this because they have to. Not because they want to."

Qasim sighed, and thought for a minute. "Do you want to know what I tell myself, every time we must go into a battle like this one?" When Kel didn't move, he continued, "I try to think of what will happen if we are not successful. Can you tell me what would happen if we had not been here this day?"

"They would have continued moving south until they found someone." She said hollowly.

"Yes, they would have. And then what? Do you think it would be a town, or a company like ours?"

"A town." And then Qasim stopped talking. He let the implications sink in. Kel knew in her heart that if this force had come across a town, the town wouldn't have any survivors. And then the company would have pushed on, doing the same thing until they were stopped.

Kel took two deep breaths to center herself, and slowly sat up. She felt all the blood rush from her head and waited until the black edges around her vision cleared.

She finally looked up at Qasim. He was watching her carefully, his face full of worry. Kel took another deep breath and pushed all the hair that escaped her braid during the battle out of her face.

"Thank you."

"No thanks are necessary."

"I know, but I would like to thank you anyway. You've always been kind to me, even when few others were."

Qasim's eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled. "I see my niece in you. She has your spirit, though she is only seven."

Kel smiled, thinking of a stubborn Bazhir girl fighting with bullies and saving small animals. Shaking herself, Kel slowly stood up. "You don't value yourself enough. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You just needed to be reminded of what you are protecting."

Kel shook her head. She would never be free of that blasted title. _Protector of the Small _indeed.

They both walked slowly, to help find any wounded men and care for those that needed it. Kel was quiet for the rest of the day, and indeed for part of the next. However, the next time a war party was spotted, she was able to go into it with a good mindset. She would never again forget the lives she was taking, even if she understood why somebody had to. Her prowess in the battles did not falter, but her mind afterwards was plagued by sorrow for the lives she took. She would do what she could to protect all the people she could, no matter who they were.

Neither Kel nor Qasim mentioned it again, to each other or anyone else. Raoul may have suspected, but a word of it never crossed his lips. Sorrow was something everyone dealt with in their own way.

**A/N: I know it's short and rather a different flavor than the rest of the story, but I wanted this scene to hold by itself. This is something important to Kel, and I hope it came across to you like it is in my mind. Any questions? Comments? You know what to do. ~Kaia**


	8. Stubborn

**A/N: Here we go. Kel is still stationed on the Scanran border at the fort that will come to be known as Giantkiller as soon as Raoul leaves to take Kel to Corus.**

Kel was slowly making her way to the practice area with her sword at her hip, hoping she wouldn't run into anyone she knew. All too soon, she heard a commotion behind her. As she turned and looked for the disturbance, she saw Dom's head between the other soldiers of the Own, his height setting him apart. She grimaced and ducked back into the milling crowd, quickening her pace. Though generally Kel would be delighted to see Dom's handsomely charming self, she couldn't wait to escape her current pursuant and makeshift jailer. Ducking through squads, Kel hoped she wouldn't stand out too much. However, it seemed that may have been a little too much to hope for, as Dom soon caught up wither her. She once again cursed the horse blood that ran in his family. Neal was ridiculously difficult to evade as well.

Dom had been the one that was most insistent that she get enough rest and healing. Normally she wouldn't be so opposed to this, but she had been in bed for most of the day before, and at least half of today. This was the first escape from the healer's quarters, and she wasn't even close to ready to give up her hard-won freedom yet.

Breathing slightly harder than she would have wished, Kel started the argument she knew was coming with, "Dom, I think I know whether or not I am able to practice. My shoulder really doesn't hurt much. "

"So you admit that it does hurt. Kel, you had a barbed bolt lodged three inches in your shoulder, barely missing major arteries and you still lost way too much blood. You don't think it's a big deal?" Dom asked, his voice steadily rising. "You were laid up for a day and a half. I don't think I've ever seen you that badly hurt before. Raoul was fit to be tied. I don't think I've seen _him_ that worried either."

"I had worse after Yamani raiders got me and Mama, Dom. There's a reason I know how much her fan hurts when I fight the healers." Kel replied sensibly. She really didn't know what the big deal was. Her Yamani trainers had been just as adamant about not receiving much time off, and they hadn't received _any_ healing.

"Yes, but you don't know how worried I was. How worried we all were." he quickly amended. "I've never seen you that pale before. Not even when you had the beastly little Griffin."

"That little monster dug a piece out of my heart. Of course he didn't hurt me that badly." Dom scoffed when he thought of the tiny terror, but refrained from commenting.

"Whatever. The point," he returned, "Is that you shouldn't be training. Maybe some light jogging, and a pattern dance. Or that terribly frightening fan game. You should not be practicing all out with any live weapons."

"The healer said I should be able to use my own judgement, Dom. And now I'm judging that I'm as fit as I can hope to be from here on out."

"Kel," Dom said, thoroughly frustrated, "he only said that on the assumption that you weren't stark raving mad and as tolerant to pain as a Yamani berserker. Go back to the healer's quarters."

"Dom, if I have to sit around and listen to men talk about ladies for any longer I'm going to tear my hair out. I want to _do_ something. Most of the time, I love the Queen's Ladies. Having your men substitute for them just isn't the same though," she added with a grin.

Dom laughed, though he had to admit that Kel made a decent point. "Fine, woman," he grumbled. "Name your price for cooperation."

"Find me something to do. Or a sparring partner. Either will work."

"uh... uhmmm... what about..." Caught off guard, Dom could really do nothing but stammer and try to remember his earlier suggestions. "The Fan!"

"You want me to stand by myself and just toss the fan over and over? How interesting.

After thinking for a minute, Dom voiced a very brave suggestion, "You could teach me how to play. Well... not just me. I'll blackmail some of the others to learn as well."

Giggling, Kel replied, "I'm sure at least I'll find it incredibly amusing."

After he sighed and nodded Kel said, "We'll work on the throw first." She began think of somewhere public where Dom and the others would be at their best advantage. And where it would be painfully obvious that they were learning a game all Yamani girls knew by the time they were six. Once she made it back to her rooms with Mother Dom in tow, she grabbed her two silk shukusen and sent Dom to round up his fellow victims, er... she meant learning companions.

She also stopped by the healer's to see if he could do something about the sharp edges of the fan since the men would hurt themselves if it wasn't dulled.

**______________________________________________________**

Kel ended up bribing one of third company's mages into putting a thin barrier around the sharp edges of the fans so none of the men would maim themselves. Blunt force trauma to the head, perhaps, but they would all keep their fingers.

Dom had gotten three men from his squad, as well as Learant, two men from Qasim's squad and Sergeant Osbern. Eight was enough that they wouldn't be ridiculed alone. Plus, there really wasn't much else to do around the fort but train and play practical jokes.

After the men had assembled, Kel began her lesson.

"First," she began, snapping open one of the fans and tossing it up into the air, "you need to work out the timing of the flips." She caught the base neatly in her hand. "I want you all to count how many times the fan flips in the air before I catch it."

She threw it again, and the men realized that this may be slightly more complicated than they had previously thought. Only a few of them got the number of flips right the first time, and that was more luck than anything.

"Ok, that may not work," she said, sighing, and then flipped the fan just once. Then twice. Then three times. "We'll be starting small. You hold the fan like so, with the base settled firmly in one palm," She demonstrated, and the men peered closely at her hand...

_three hours later..._

Though the men weren't yet good at throwing the fan, all of them could go around the circle with it. They were by no means as graceful as Yamani ladies, but they had potential. Kel decided to show off a little.

"I'm going to call this lesson over for a while, but you can use a dagger to practice the timing of the flips. The weight is a little different, but it's better than nothing and I only have these two fans with me."

She then had a mage remove the blunted edges and demonstrated how the fan was similar to a dagger by throwing it towards the barracks wall. The men laughed as it tumbled prettily towards the barracks, but stopped laughing when it buried itself an inch into the wood, point first.

"This only affirms that I never want you angry with me," Dom commented, and all the others rushed to agree.

**______________________________________________________**

It was nearing the first of September, and the weather was cooling off. Scanran attacks grew fewer and farther between. After two weeks of sporadic lessons, the men were getting quite good at fan toss, and Kel decided to increase the difficulty by changing the rules to where you could throw to anyone in the circle. Soon they joined the two circles and had both fans going at once in a larger circle. Everything was going well until two visiting rider groups stopped by the fort one night in August. The girls in one of the groups teased the men for learning a Yamani girl's game, and the men, with their honor at stake, challenged them to a game.

The rules were essentially if you dropped the fan or sent it badly, then you were out. The first group to lose all of their members lost.

A few of the riders did indeed know how to play, and the competitions ensued. After the Own decisively won the challenge, all of the Riders had joined in the spirit of things, as did many more of the Own. A few more challenges were issued, and the riders then won archery and the Own won wrestling. They moved from wrestling to loud, drunken stories over dinner, and only realized in the morning just how much they had to drink, and probably how loud they were. There were also a few blank spots in various memories, but not many of the men were going to bring that one up.

Raoul stumbled out into the dewey air that next morning, not having been able to sleep well due to the noise. As he made it out to the stables, he came across a large group of riders and King's own. "Hello, law abiding citizens," he began cheerfully as his eyes first fell on the riders. As his gaze shifted to the men of the Own he grumpily tacked on, "...marginally law abiding citizens," and then his eyes fell on Dom, "… citizen." He nearly growled, a low rumbling coming from the back of his throat, "Do you realize that you are one of the main reasons I couldn't sleep last night?"

Dom gulped, paled, and nearly choked on what he was trying to say. "How do you mean, sir?" He asked, unwilling to say much since he definitely wasn't the only who was making noise.

"That blasted fan game. If you had just left well enough alone, then you wouldn't be playing that game, and then we wouldn't have had those ridiculous challenges last night. And then you all would have gone to bed at a reasonable hour. Like the reasonable people I was under the obviously mistaken impression you were. Dom just grinned at that.

"You should blame your squire for that one sir. She was trying to spar as soon as she was up out of the healer's area, and I had to distract her somehow. I figured learning the fan would keep her occupied long enough."

"Plus sir, " one of the men piped up, "It's fun."

"I know, and it's wicked dangerous," another added. "Have you seen Kel throw that thing?"

Raoul just shook his head. Apparently his entire company had gone mad. He would also have to ask Kel if he could have a look at those fans. He had never seen one up close. They couldn't be _that_ dangerous if the Yamanis let children play with them. Well, they _probably_ weren't that dangerous. At least the Riders and the Own were getting along. Quite often the Own's ego got in the way of anything they tried to do. Perhaps invisible barriers really were falling between everyone. Perhaps it was just Kel though. She seemed to open people up to new experiences all the time.

**______________________________________________________**

"Kel, how on earth did you convince my men to learn to use the _shukusen?_" They were in Kel's attached rooms one afternoon, doing lessons, and Raoul sensed that it would be a good time to ask. He rubbed the back of his neck looking confused, while Kel only laughed. "At first, they did it to keep me from re-injuring myself, but I persuaded them that it wouldn't be a waste of their time to learn."

"How did you do that? I know most of them realize it's viewed as a lady's weapon."

"Well, after we had finished the first day, I got Torrin to take all of the protections off of the edges and showed them how effective it could be." Kel laughed, as she hefted the fan in her belt. She had taken to carrying one with her at all times since the games had begun. It was too much of a hassle to run and get one every time someone wanted to play a game.

"Would I be able to take a look at it? I've seen them before, but I haven't held one."

"Of course, sir," Kel said, as she unclipped the fan from her belt. They made their way outside, and Kel placed the dull base in his palm. Unprepared for the weight, Raoul nearly dropped the fan. "You'll want to be careful, sir, " Kel continued. "Most people don't realize it's as sharp as a live sword."

Much more carefully than he had previously, Raoul inspected what he was holding. It was a piece of fine tempered Yamani steel, resplendent with the blue waves that indicated the steel was of the highest quality. He tested the blade on a few hairs, and whistled when they split easily.

"What exactly did you do to convince the men that this was not a waste of their time?" Kel just laughed and told Raoul to pick a target. He pointed to a spot about fifteen feet away on the stockade wall, and when Kel hit the target accurately with the fan, he just whistled.

"Most Tortallans don't realize that the Yamanis have a warrior culture, and everyone in it is able to fight. Noble girls and commoners alike learn to thrown these by the time they're eight, and then they're given live ones like mine. If a noblewoman feels threatened, she will wear at least one _shukusen_, rather than a regular fan. It is as much a weapon as a dagger."

Shaking his head, Raoul ruefully admitted that he had much to learn about Kel. And about Yamanis too probably.

"What I intended to tell you though, before all of this started, was that you need to think about heading back to Corus. Winter is nearly upon us."

Kel looked at him in confusion, and Raoul nearly laughed when she didn't remember. "Why would it matter if winter is here?" She asked blankly.

"Midwinter is a rather important time for you, I believe," he said, teasing. "Although I will gladly welcome you into the Own if you chose, I think the realm needs you more as a knight." Kel blushed when she realized that time had flown by without her notice. She was at home here, and the Own was like family. A strange, rowdy family, but family nonetheless.

"Of course, milord. When do you want to start the travel?"

Kel was happy here on the border, but it had been a long time away from her friends and family in the capital.

**A/N: I borrowed the 'Law abiding citizens' line from another fanfic. I can't remember where I read it, but it stuck in my mind well enough that I wanted to put it in my fic. I think it was a Naruto one (perhaps Harry Potter as well), so if anyone out there knows where the line comes from, I would be much obliged if you would mention it.**


End file.
